I have recently photographed a traditional Muslim wedding in Fort Lauderdale. I have always been interested in different cultures and was very pleased to participate in a real Muslim wedding. The wedding pictures will follow soon. First let me share with you what I have found out about Muslim wedding traditions.
While Islamic weddings have been known to be multi-day festivities, the actual wedding ceremony is simple and to the point. The wedding is not restricted to just the ceremony and is instead divided into three ritual stages: pre-wedding, wedding and post-wedding.
Prior to the wedding, the pre-wedding stage, sweets and fruits are exchanged and family and friends visit the bride and groom’s homes. This pre-wedding time increases the excitement among the families. Traditionally, the bride is not seen for forty days. Only family is allowed to see her as she rests at home in preparation for the wedding day.
The bride and groom may also choose to hold a “dhoki” (meaning drum) a few weeks before the wedding. This party is a time for singing, dancing and beating on a drum in anticipation of the big day.
When it comes time for the wedding, brides are decorated in beautiful and various ways for the wedding ceremony. One example is decorating the bride with lots of jewelry that can tend to be very expensive. Twenty-two karat gold bracelets, rings and necklaces often adorn the bride.
Another example, and perhaps the most well known, is the gorgeous henna that is painted onto their hands and feet the night before the wedding in a “mehendi” ceremony. This ceremony is the most festive and filled with, again, lots of singing and dancing. The bride to be will wear yellow and henna paint is applied on her as well as other female family members. The groom may also receive henna, but only gets a single dot in the palm of his hand. The henna represents that the bride is changing from a woman into being a wife. The future mother in law applies the first dot on the hand. Traditionally, the groom’s initials are written somewhere in the design as well.
Muslim weddings are best known for welcoming guests. A wedding offers a family the opportunity to entertain many guests at once while also strengthening the social bond that they all have. After henna, there is another celebration called the “baraat” which is more time for the family to sing and dance. At this event, two parallel lines of the bride’s family and friends greet family and friends.
The next day is the wedding, known as the “nikkah” and it is the most important ceremony for the Muslim people because it’s a charming and elegant ceremony of two souls coming together. Having hundreds or thousands of guests is not unheard of as this is a large affair. Conservative families on the other hand, like to skip the lavish ceremony and instead give the newlyweds money to start a family and home.
The actual wedding ceremony can be held anywhere. To begin the wedding ceremony, both the bride and groom are placed in separate rooms. The bride wears a red “ghaagra”, which is a pleated skirt with a long blouse that is embroidered in gold. On her head she wears a “dupata” that wraps around her shoulders, but does not cover the gold jewelry she’s wearing. The groom can choose to wear a suit or a “sherwarni” which is a high-collared long sleeve coat as well as a turban.
One interesting fact in the Muslim culture is that the faith is passed down through the father. Because of this, men may marry outside of their religion without having their future spouse convert to Islam. Muslim women on the other hand, can’t marry a non-Muslim unless he converts to the religion.
The officiant for the ceremony can be any man who is familiar with the Islamic law since there is no official clergy in the country. The officiant goes to each room, asks the bride and groom if the marriage is of their own free will, then the marriage contract is signed and the two are brought together and become husband and wife. However, in order for it to be official, there must be two male witnesses that sign the marriage contract, and either two males or a male and two females must be wedding witnesses in order for it to be recognized as well. Sometimes, a “wali” may answer on behalf of the bride.
The marriage contract is called a “mehar” and also has a statement in it declaring the monetary amount the groom will give the bride. There are two amounts of money, one is giving before the marriage is consummated and the other is given to her throughout her life. The elder family members actually get together the morning of the wedding, and decide what this nuptial gift and amount will be. Today, the groom may use the ring as the first form of money. The later amount can be anything from money to land to jewelry, even an education. The reason that there is the amount given prior to the marriage is because it’s considered the bride’s security and guarantee of freedom within the marriage.
And finally is the reception, which is known as the “valima” which the groom’s family hosts. Many prayers are said before the dinner. Typically, men and women sit separately, including the bride and groom. After dinner the newly-weds sit together for the first time and the father will officially give her hand to her husband and ask him to protect her.
While some Muslims choose to have lavish ceremonies, others prefer to make it a more simple day that is just focused on the bride and groom. But no matter how much many is spent on the big day, the main thing in this culture is that the day is focused on the love and affection of the new married couple.
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