In China, the purpose of a wedding is to create an alliance between two families as well as to continue the ancestral line. When it comes to Chinese weddings, there are two central themes: the color red and the phoenix and dragon. Traditionally, red signifies love and to the Chinese it also means, joy and prosperity and is used in a variety of ways for the ceremony and reception. Bride’s can choose to wear a red dress and it can also be incorporated into wedding gifts as well as the invitations. The bride and groom’s houses are even decorated in red for the big day. The phoenix and dragon on the other hand symbolize the bride and groom. The dragon is wingless and symbolizes a powerful Emperor. The phoenix symbol may be embroidered into the wedding dress as well as other apparel or dresses the bride wears and symbolizes and Empress
In the Chinese culture, a wedding begins with a proposal just like in other countries. However, a Chinese wedding proposal is very elaborate. There is a go-between that talks with both the man and woman. This role is similar to that of a real estate agent. The most important people during the proposal are the parents because a marriage is considered the joining of two families.
A proposal is not complete until there is a Betrothal. This is a formal meeting of the bride and groom’s families. The groom’s family will present the bride gifts that come in even numbers called “Guo Da Li” (meaning grand gift) that represent fertility and prosperity in the Chinese culture. After this, the couple is considered to be engaged.
Following the proposal, the families make wedding announcements to their family and friends. Rather than sending cards in the mail, in China families send out cakes known as double happiness cakes (or can also be known as Dragon and Phoenix cakes.) The cakes are typically part of the groom’s proposal gift to the bride. The bride will then present some of the cakes to worship their ancestors and send the rest out to family and friends. Today, you may also see the cakes served at the wedding instead of being sent out prior to the wedding.
To choose the date of the wedding, the Chinese can be very particular about it. The day should be a lucky one and the date should be according to the lunar calendar. They also make sure that the stars and moon will be properly aligned on the day and it’s also customary that the couple gets married on the half hour rather than the top of the hour. This is because the hands of the clock are moving up rather than down which is related to the tradition that the couple begins their lives on an upswing.
For the wedding, the bride most often times choose to have a red dress because it’s considered to be good luck and will drive away any bad or evil spirits. The bride will also change at least three times during the day. She’ll have one dress for the ceremony, another for the tea ceremonies and a third for the reception.
The day of the wedding ceremony begins when the groom sets out to go to the home of the bride. When he arrives, he will play the door game with her bridesmaids. This game originated in ancient times and it implies that the bride’s friends and families do not want her to get married. The bridesmaids will block the door and will test the groom with questions about the bride to see if he truly cares about her.
At the wedding ceremony, there will be lots of lively color including red banners known as “happiness banners.” The traditional Chinese writing on the banners is poems that praise the love of the couple and the perfect marriage that the two will have together.
The ceremony is simple compared to the other wedding elements. Traditionally, the ceremony is only attended by the couples’ immediate families. Tea is a large part of the Chinese culture and is served by the bride to her in-laws in a formal ceremony before the wedding. The couple stands at an altar where they will kneel or bow three times (to the heaven and earth, and ancestral tables and their families.) Tea is served again and the couple receives money in red envelopes in return. The couple bows to each other one last time and the ceremony is complete.
After the ceremony, a couple may take photos or they may head to the reception. At the reception, which is seen as the public recognition of the union, there is a welcoming speech followed by the cutting of the cake which is very large with many layers. The layers are symbolic of the success ladder the couple will climb together. More elaborate receptions include a sit-down dinner featuring a 9 to 10 course meal while others just have musical entertainment. If food is served, fish is the featured dish because the pronunciation of fish is the same as abundance which means that the couple will have a life full of wealth. Chicken also may be served because it means phoenix, and when served with lobster that means that the couple will have a balanced family.
On the wedding night, the couple will light a dragon and phoenix candle to drive away any more evil spirits that may be around. This is the Chinese version of a unity candle traditionally used in religious ceremonies.
The day after the wedding ceremony, the bride should get up early and make breakfast for the groom’s family. This is to demonstrate that she is well-nurtured. The bride also serves them tea and the couple receives more red envelopes. And three days after the wedding, the newlyweds go back to visit the bride’s family.
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