Pakistan is an Islamic country filled with a rich history and culture. The customs followed for Pakistani weddings have no foundation in Islam but they have adopted their ceremonies and traditions from the Hindu culture.
In Pakistan, a wedding is a fun celebration for all and involves many pre-wedding customs and rituals including numerous different ceremonies that make up the entire Pakistani wedding tradition.
It all begins with an engagement ceremony called the Mangni, which takes place in front of guests. Prior to the wedding, the bride stays in seclusion for eight to fifteen days and this is called Mayum. Then there is the Uptan part of the ceremony, which is a paste, applied to the bride. It’s made of wood that the groom’s mother puts together and is used to make the bride even more beautiful. It is blessed and applied to the bride’s hands and face. The groom’s sister (if he has one) also takes part in this part and applies a thick string called a “gana” to the bride’s arm. The Uptan is then applied to the bride’s skin each day proceeding up to the day of the wedding.
A Pakistani wedding is four days long. The first day consists of family members dressing in yellow and performing wedding rituals separately at the bride and groom’s houses. The bride and groom are not allowed to see each other until the day of the wedding.
The Mehndi ceremony takes place on the second day and this is where Henna, which is a major part of Pakistani weddings, is applied onto the hands and feet of the bride. This ceremony is lively and joyous, filled with music and dancing. The bride also does Sadka at the Mehndi ceremony that wards off evil; Sadka is when family members donate money to the bride after circling it around her head three times. The Henna is applied in beautiful, floral designs and sometimes the groom’s name is written in as well. After this ceremony, the family gathers for dinner but the bride is required to wear a veil, as she cannot reveal her face until the wedding to the entire family.
The third day is when the main wedding rites and traditions happen. There is a Baraat, which is the procession of the family, and friends that walk with the groom to the bride’s home. The groom makes his appearance on a decorated horse or in a car with the Baraat following him. Once arrived, the groom is welcome by the bride’s family with flowers and guests exchange glasses of juice along with money before the ceremony. The bride and groom both wear red with the bride wearing a veil and the groom and his groomsmen wear turbans. The Dolki is the part of the wedding ceremony where the songs are sung with many percussion instruments but the Dolki is the main instrument.
The ceremony, Nikah, is like a traditional wedding, where vows and rings are exchanged at the bride’s home. A Koran is also placed onto the head of the bride as she prepares to join a new family. It’s called the Nikah because the name of the marriage contract is the Nikah-naama. It contains several terms and conditions including the bride’s right to divorce her husband. This marriage contract also includes two amounts of money called the Meher that is given to the bride from the groom. One is due before the marriage is consummated and the other is a deferred amount given at another time. The Meher acts a safety net for the bride and gives her freedom within the marriage.
During the ceremony, the fathers of the bride and groom (Walis) act as witnesses. Selected verses are also read from the Quran. After the vows and ring are exchanged, dishes of the dates and misri (unrefined sugar) are served to the groom’s family.
Following this ceremony, there is the Mooh Dikhai, which is when the bride shows her face for the first time after the Nikah. After her face is revealed, the couple shares a piece of fruit and the families congratulate them and shower them with gifts.
The last day is the wedding reception which is when the couple hosts the first dinner with family and friends to celebrate their first day as husband and wife. Dinner is then served along with a very popular custom in which the sisters, friends and female cousins of the bride steal the groom’s shoes and demand a sum of money for them. Once he pays for the shoes, the women divide the money amongst themselves.
At the end of the evening is the Ruksati ceremony to say farewell to the bride before departing with the groom. The Quran is held over their head for a blessing. The day after the wedding is the Chauthi. This is the tradition of bringing the bride back to her parent’s home the next day, and this is the fourth and final day of the celebration. And finally, is the Walima. which announces the marriage to the community. This is another reception that is very large and is hosted by the groom’s parents.
A Pakistan wedding has similar traditions to that of an Islamic wedding, but has its differences also. But just like any other wedding, this day is not only about sharing in the love and joy of two people, but also bringing together family and friends for a celebration.
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